Good Intentions

And now, Profs Say the Darnedest Things.
Torts:

• (Drawing a map of the western US on the board) “Here’s Alaska…If you’re from there, you’re a foreign policy expert.”
• “You’ll be fined $1000 and get gored by Bevo if you don’t root for the Longhorns, says the Texas Legislature.”
• (In reference to a case about a hysterectomy gone wrong) “Did he operate on the wrong uterus?”
• “Here’s another handout. I’m actually just grinding up trees that have fallen in the storm.”

Civil Procedure:

• “Write this down: Women are people too.”
• “I am in excellent health because I can withstand this constant barrage.” (Referring to wrong and silly answers from us.)
• “You’d trust the mail with your International Shoe shoes?”
• “You’re supposed to send a check to the state of Texas when you buy out of state goods for sales tax, but nobody does that…(Class laughs)…Yes, now you can chuckle to yourself every time you commit that particular felony.”
• “New Yorkers don’t know where Oklahoma is nor know how to find it. There is New York and there is everything west of the Hudson.”
• “I’ve never shot a gun in my life. But don’t be encouraged; many of my relatives have.”

Prof. Contracts said this today:

“You’re at home after finals, drinking beer, and you think, Hey, I used the UCC for the question about painting a house, and every single thing I said was irrelevant! And then you start drinking heavier, possibly moving to liquor…”

And this was from yesterday:

Prof: “What if I offer to sell my Saturn to Matthew McConaughey? And then later when I’m in the shower I say, I want to revoke my offer! Is it a valid revocation?”
Student: “Only if he’s in the shower with you.”
Prof: “Right! We both work out at the same gym and he was in the showers as well!”

My Torts professor said this today:

“Would you be taking Mergers and Acquisitions next semester? No, because that whole industry is going out of business.”

Sad but true. I’m gonna try to put up more hilarious quotes from my profs, if I remember to write them down. Because law school professors are mostly insane, and insanity is hilarious.